Before I start this I should preface it by making one thing clear:
Nutella is amazing!
Nutella is a hazelnut spread that’s delicious. It’s got a creamy, nutty, chocolaty flavor. I’m eating an ‘English’ muffin as I type this being very careful not to get the gooey brown goodness on the keyboard. I keep a jar of it in my pantry most of the time. It’s great and if you haven’t tried it, I suggest you go get a Nutella & Go for a buck and give it a try.
But Nutella isn’t that amazing.
The internet is good about hyping good things but it’s also good with hyping mediocrity and this is an example of the latter. There’s 2 other snack spreads I far prefer to Nutella. One is very different and the other is in the same ballpark as Nutella.
Pepper jelly is pretty boss but kind of hard to come by. Whenever I pass though New Mexico I try to stop by some of the Native American trading posts to find some flavors of pepper jelly. How jams are made is by taking fruit and sugar and blending them together and canning them. Some brilliant person figured out that peppers are fruits too and made history. History for me at least. Good luck finding a ghost pepper or scorpion pepper jelly, but if you do your tongue will thank you as much as your asshole will condemn you the next day. There are others that to a wonderful job. Habanero is a good substitute when the more extreme varieties are unavailable. However the one I use as a go-to pepper jelly isn’t one made by some sweet old native lady in the southwest, but by a large company in Louisiana. You can find Tabasco pepper jelly at most Walmarts and Kroger-owned stores. They use aged tabasco peppers and is a great addition to your complete breakfast. When used with conjunction with coffee, it’s a great way to shake off the morning blehs.
However, this won’t fill the void if you’re looking for an alternative to Nutella but it’s a great addition to the condiment shelf in your fridge. There is one spread I could use to forever rid myself of Nutella should I ever decide to do so. I won’t, but if I did it would be Biscoff.
Biscoff? What the fuck is that?
Well it’s kind of like peanut butter but instead of being made of penuts…
…it’s made out of fucking cookies!
Yes. It’s cookie butter. Some crazy European cookie company “Lotus Bakeries” had the brilliant idea of making a spread made out of fucking cookies. I don’t know what I need to say about it. It’s cookies! It comes in two verities and I can’t decide what I prefer most; chunky or creamy. They taste the same but the chunky has bigger cookie crumbs mixed in. Can’t decide! I just stock both at all times.
I’m not being paid nor do I work for these companies in any way. I’m not even linking them to my Amazon Affiliate link just to really emphasize how genuinely I prefer these over Nutella. There’s also other spreads that are great in the same area as Nutella. I’d say give them all a try and tell me if I’m missing something even better than Biscoff.